Sunday, June 25, 2006
@ 6:37 AM
Relationship Assessment Report
Lis, your relationship is more likely to last if you and your partner improve how you understand each other's strengths and weaknesses.
Your particular characteristics and your attitude toward life have an impact on the relationships you have with others — including your partner. Based on your answers on the test, it seems you might not be focusing on certain strengths you can draw on to develop your romantic relationship. To work as a couple, you need to know how, individually, you can benefit the whole.
One thing in particular that may be causing, or might cause future problems in your relationships, is your level of contempt. Contempt arises from an overdose of criticism. By being too critical, you may be hurting your partner personally and weakening the bonds of the relationship. Couples who are able to give feedback constructively tend to have a more successful relationship because they aren't weakened by their partner's comments. If you can find out the underlying cause of your critical nature, you will likely be on track to finding the full potential and joy of a committed relationship.
First off, remember — no relationship is perfect. That's why it was important that we got a snapshot of your relationship, reported by you. In this report, Tickle analyzed four key elements that contribute to overall relationship satisfaction: conflict, connection, interaction, and personality. Your answers helped identify strengths and weaknesses that can help you improve your relationships. The next section of the report will show you more explicitly how you scored and where you can improve.
What does your personality add to the relationship?
There are five dimensions of your personality that are crucial to forming and sustaining committed relationships. In order to develop a strong relationship, you need to be mature, understanding, flexible, non-avoidant, and have low relationship anxiety. We'll take a look at how you scored below. You have a combination of individual traits that will serve you well in attaining a healthy, successful relationship. It is most likely that your relationships, family and friends included, benefit from the blend of personal characteristics that you possess.
Flexibility:
Flexibility is key to the success of any intimate relationship. If you can roll with the changes then you will be able to adapt to the struggles you may endure in your relationship. With greater flexibility, you also have a sense of peace about you, since you're not likely to be fazed by the small things in life.
You scored 9 out of 10 on the Flexibility Scale. This means that you probably have a high level of comfort with the ups and downs of any relationship. This will help your relationship, especially if your partner also has a high level of flexibility and you both can enjoy the flow of your relationship together.
Maturity:
Maturity is a great asset to any relationship. It really says that you are ready to think about another person as much as you think about yourself. It also says that you are responsible for your commitment to another person.
You scored 8 out of 10 on the Maturity Scale. This means that you probably have a high level of commitment to and consideration of your partner. This will help your relationship, especially if your partner also has a high level of maturity and can appreciate your commitment to the relationship.
Non-avoidance
Avoidance is damaging to a relationship. It says that you are detached from your partner and that you probably fear intimacy with another. It may also mean that you enjoy your own company more than you enjoy the company of your partner.
You scored 8 out of 10 on the Non-avoidance Scale. Since you scored relatively high, this means that you probably have a higher level of closeness within your relationship, and that you do not have a fear of intimacy. This may help your relationship, especially if your partner enjoys being intimate and close to you.
Positive Emotionality
Negative emotionality has no positive place in a relationship. Destructive types of behaviors are usually hiding many different areas of fear. It is best to keep yourself from worrying to prevent any difficulties from developing in your relationship, which is why keeping a positive attitude about things can help your relationship
You scored 7 out of 10 on the Positive Emotionality Scale. This means that you probably have a lower level of worry, which can be very healthy for your relationship. This may help your relationship, especially if your partner also has a higher sense of comfort about most things in life. However, it may hurt your relationship to be too carefree, so this is something to make sure that you keep balanced.
Lack of Anxiety
Too much anxiety is not healthy for a relationship. The anxiety is often a hidden fear of being alone. It is best to allow the partnership to breathe and give your partner space to pursue their own goals while supporting them.
You scored 5 out of 10 on the Lack of Anxiety Scale. This means that you probably have a high level of need to be really close and dependent on your partner. This may hurt your relationship, especially if your partner also has a high level of independence and needs to have alone time and doesn't understand why you feel rejected during these times.
10 Things that Ruin Relationships
1. Secrets — You fear the consequences of telling your partner something you are ashamed about, and therefore cut off lines of communication.
2. Egotism — Thinking of yourself before thinking of your partner or the relationship diminishes the importance of your partner.
3. Pettiness — Blowing the little things up into big things when there is probably something else that is going on results in avoidance of the real issue.
4. Power — Always needing to be in control and trying to control your partner does not allow your partner his or her own indepedence.
5. Priorities — Doing everything else in your life before putting effort into the relationship tells your partner that his or her needs don't equal yours.
6. Selfishness — Using the relationship to feel good rather than just trying to be a good person in your relationship.
7. Excuses — Not accepting your responsibility for your mistakes and owning up to them shows a lack of maturity.
8. Liaisons — Maintaining taboo relationships when they might be doing harm to you and your partner undermines your commitment as a couple.
9. Denial — Ignoring the red flags and not discussing them constricts lines of open communication.
10. Withdrawal — Disconnecting for reasons that are not discussed or that you are confused about shuts down any hope of intimacy.
Where's the conflict in your relationship?
Tickle's research has identified 7 key areas, or points of conflict, that most people identify as the cause of their break-ups. They may sound familiar. They are related to sex, money, in-laws, infidelity, other friends, work, and quality time together.
Your answers on the test indicate that 2 of these 7 areas contribute to the conflict in your relationship. While these seven areas seem relatively common, what many people may not realize is that these conflict areas are not always the root of the problem. Oftentimes they are more symptomatic of underlying issues — issues that can undermine even the strongest of relationships. But in order to resolve conflicts in your relationship, you need to clearly define the areas that are causing you, or have the potential to cause, the biggest problems between you and your partner. Once you do that, you can figure out whether you can solve your problems through better communication, by making changes to your behavior, or with problem-solving techniques. By focusing on fixing each and any of these conflict areas, the relationship is better equipped to flourish.
You may find that simply acknowledging any problems may make a positive difference in your relationship. Or, you may find that it will take a lot more work, using communication, behavior modification, and problem solving. The areas that are checked below are contributingg to the conflict in your relationship.
Friends
A couple's friends can oftentimes cause stress on their relationship. These stresses can be caused by different personalities and whether or not you like or get along with your partner's friends. But oftentimes the issue goes a bit deeper. You and your partner might get jealous when the other makes plans with or spends time with friends. And these feelings can affect your relationship in a bad way.
You have indicated that your friends are not a problem in your relationship. That's not the case for everyone — 27% of people who have taken this test feel that their friends are a problem in their relationships. You'll want to make sure that you continue to have a healthy relationship around both your friends with your partner and to make sure that you are both open in discussing if anything does come up around this topic.
Infidelity
Infidelity is a serious problem that has the potential to dissolve ties and weaken or destroy the foundation of a relationship. Typically it isn't just the infidelity that is the issue; it is the trust that is broken and the poor communication between the couple that is the catalyst for the cheating, or that results from the cheating.
You have indicated that infidelity is a problem in your relationship. 30% of people who have taken this test also feel that infidelity is a problem in their relationships. While it is a very difficult problem to get beyond, take the opportunity to explore this topic with your partner. The communication will hopefully start to rebuild trust that is so essential in your partnership.
Money
Financial concerns cause problems for many couples. Typically it isn't just the money that is the issue, it is usually what the money is spent on or the emotional value the money holds to each person, which may be different for you and your partner.
You have indicated that your finances are not a problem in your relationship. Consider yourself lucky — 46% of people who have taken this test feel that money is a problem in their relationships. You'll want to make sure that you continue to have a healthy relationship about money with your partner and to make sure that you are both open in discussing if anything does come up around monetary issues.
Work
Work is a common source of conflict for couples. Typically it isn't just the work that is the issue; it is the allocation of time spent at work and the importance placed on work that can get in the way of your relationship.
You have indicated that your work is not a problem in your relationship. On the flip side, 45% of people who have taken this test feel that work is a problem in their relationships. You'll want to make sure that you continue to have a healthy relationship around work with your partner and to make sure that you are both open in discussing if anything does come up around this topic.
Quality Time
Quality time is a source of conflict for many couples. This is most often because failing to make time together — often due to busy schedules or competing interests and priorities — can leave partners wanting more.
You have indicated that quality time is a problem in your relationship. 54% of people who have taken this test also feel that quality time is a problem in their relationships. There is a good chance that the problems arising from this might trace back to something simple, like you needing to plan a weekly date night with your partner. Or it may be something more involved, like you do not feel emotionally connected with your partner, so your needs are not being met. These underlying issues, or something similar, can be the cause of your difficulties around quality time and should be explored with your partner.
In-laws
In-laws are often a source of conflict for couples regardless of whether or not you and your partner like your in-laws. Stress concerning in-laws more often revolves not around specific personas, but more around the time and responsibility that is demanded of the couple by the in-laws. Jealousy and guilt — feelings that you should be spending more time with your own parents, rather than your in-laws — may develop as well. Understanding that the relationship between you and your partner should ideally take precedence over ties between others is important.
You have indicated that your in-laws are not a problem in your relationship. You're lucky — 42% of people who have taken this test feel that their in-laws are a problem in their relationships. You'll want to make sure that you continue to have a healthy relationship around your in-laws with your partner and to make sure that you are both open in discussing if anything does come up around this topic.
How do you and your partner connect?
One key to a successful, committed relationship is having a high degree of relationship connection. When we speak of the connection in a relationship, we are referring to the extent to which partners feel united by their relationship. We assessed your degree of connectedness by measuring your scores on intimacy, chemistry and feelings towards one another. Tickle's research indicates that these three dimensions in particular play a large role in couples who report a high level of satisfaction with their relationships.
You scored relatively high overall on when it comes to connection. This means that the connection to your partner serves you well in attaining a healthy, successful relationship. Most likely, your relationships — family and friends included- benefit from these positive connections. It is this connection that is the foundation of any relationship. Let's dig a little deeper into the three dimensions that determine connection.
Intimacy
The intimacy you share with your partner is really the emotional closeness that is unique to your partnership. The level of intimacy is different for each couple and it can always be deepened.
You scored 10 out of 10 on the Intimacy Scale. This means that you probably have a high level of emotional closeness in your relationship. Intimacy is essential in any relationship because it is the bond that keeps two people connected. Even during the hard times, your intimacy will keep you connected.
Feelings
The feelings you have for your partner is an essential element in any intimate relationship. Feelings are hard to explain other than to say you know when you feel it and you know when you do not. The good thing to know is that everyone is capable of loving more.
You scored 8 out of 10 on the Feelings Scale. This means that you probably share a high level of love with your partner. Love is essential in any relationship because it is the essence of what is shared between two people. Even during the hard times, love will make things all the more bearable.
Chemistry
The chemistry you share with your partner is essential if you want to keep things exciting and alive. There is a range of chemistry that is shared between partners, and you can always enhance the chemistry.
You scored 8 out of 10 on the Chemistry Scale. This means that you probably have a high level of attraction in your relationship. Attraction is essential in any relationship because it is what keeps the relationship exciting. Even during the routine times, the chemistry will keep things lively.
How do you interact in a relationship?
Chances are you've looked at another couple who look happy and have wondered, "What's their secret?" Turns out there may actually be one. In fact, there may actually be seven secrets — or for our purposes, dimensions — that are important to a successful relationship. They are lack of contempt, mutual support, physical affection, lack of defensiveness, problem solving, acknowledgement and mutual respect. Through research, we've found that these seven dimensions are significant in successful, committed and mutually satisfying relationships, and using your answers, we measured the interaction between you and your partner on those dimensions. It is important to note that when we speak of the interaction in a relationship, we are referring to the extent to which partners are satisfied with the two-way involvement with one another. According to your responses, your interactions in your relationship are serving you well in attaining a healthy, successful relationship. It is most likely that your relationships, family and friends included, benefit from these positive interactions. Now let's break this down a little more and see how you scored on these key dimensions.
Growing Together
The idea of growing together is important in your relationship - it can demonstrate how much you honor and trust your partner's differences. It also allows for growth for each individual without fear of losing the relationship.
You scored 10 out of 10 on the Growing Together Scale. This means that you probably have a high level of satisfaction when it comes to growing along the same path as your partner. Because it is easy to get off track, you'll want to be careful to have common ground with your partner as you are exploring your own aspirations.
Acknowledgement
The way you acknowledge and listen your partner is also significant in any relationship. This basically means you accept your partner as a human being, warts and all. A person can blossom when they are understood.
You scored 10 out of 10 on the Acknowledgement Scale. This means that you probably have a high level of understanding of your partner and you really let your partner know that you acknowledge their goals and aspirations. Because getting too little acknowledgement can easily be a problem in any relationship, you will always want to let your partner know that you appreciate what they do for you and that you understand where they are coming from.
Mutual Respect
Shared mutual respect is critical to a successful relationship. It is important to honor your partner for who they are and what they've accomplished. If you have a lot of respect for your partner, they most likely will have respect for you. If they do not, then you really need to explore the reason for this further.
You scored 10 out of 10 on the Mutual Respect Scale. This means that you probably have a high level of satisfaction for the respect you and your partner share. Because you can lose respect over time, you'll want to make sure you honor your partner's differences and show them that you are proud of what they accomplish.
Problem Solving
Problem solving skills are essential for maintaining a healthy relationship. It is not how often you argue but how you argue that is the key to success. If your arguments can be turned into problem solving sessions, your relationship will have one less stressor. If you practice solving the small problems in this way, you will be able to handle the big ones when they come up with a lot more ease.
You scored 9 out of 10 on the Problem Solving Scale. This means that you probably have a high level of problem solving skills in your relationship. You are probably able to solve most issues that arise in your relationship in a very healthy way with both you and your partner feeling good about the decision. Because poor problem solving skills can affect most relationships, you'll want to always pay attention to the way you go about solving a problem.
Physical Affection
The demonstration of physical affection - you may know it better as good old-fashioned PDA, or public display of affection - has been proven to be an indication of a loving partnership. Each of us has our own comfort level when it comes to showing affection. Research says that sometimes all we need is to be touched to produce the feelings we have for our partner.
You scored 8 out of 10 on the Physical Affection Scale. This means that you probably have a high level of physical affection that is demonstrated in your relationship. Because it is easy to feel distanced in a relationship, make sure you show your partner physically how much they mean to you.
Lack of Defensiveness
Defensiveness has been proven to be a main cause of the breakdown a romantic partnership. It is best to catch any kind of agitated response or action before it begins to alter the bond of your relationship.
You scored 7 out of 10 on the Lack of Defensiveness Scale. This means that you probably have a noticeable level of defensiveness and that you might find yourself picking at your partner purposely or jumping to a conclusion based on something they said. Because defensiveness can really break the bond of a relationship, make sure you talk about your feelings if you notice that feelings are getting bruised over the course of your interactions.
Lack of Contempt
The feeling of contempt can really sabotage a relationship. This feeling goes past wanting to give your partner constructive criticism, it really says that you do not like your partner for who they are. It really attacks your partner's personally rather than focusing on their behavior. For example, if your partner listens to the TV at an extra high volume you may want to ask them to please turn it down because you are unable to read in the other room. This is a healthier approach than accusing them for being selfish because they have the TV too loud, for this is a personal attack on their character.
You scored 7 out of 10 on the Lack of Contempt Scale. This means that you probably have a low level of contempt for your partner and that you are able to give them feedback without making them feel like they aren't a good person. Because contempt can easily sneak into a relationship, you'll want to be careful not to personalize any problems that arise in your relationship or engage in any unhealthy blaming thoughts that may pop into your head.
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Ellis, Lisa, Lis
01 December 1983
Sagittarius
Family/Mano/Snb
**Duennatelier**
*Elvy*
**Elvy**
*Eqa*
**Eqa**
**Eqlis Temptations**
*Ina*
*Ira*
*Irin*
**Irin**
*Julie*
**Julie**
*Linda*
*Mas*
*Nani*
**Nani**
*Nissa*
**Nur**
*Radz*
**Radz**
*Ratu Weddings*
**Ratu Weddings**
*Save or Splurge*
*Shiela*
*Suling*
/snb-1.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket">
Lis, your relationship is more likely to last if you and your partner improve how you understand each other's strengths and weaknesses.
Your particular characteristics and your attitude toward life have an impact on the relationships you have with others — including your partner. Based on your answers on the test, it seems you might not be focusing on certain strengths you can draw on to develop your romantic relationship. To work as a couple, you need to know how, individually, you can benefit the whole.
One thing in particular that may be causing, or might cause future problems in your relationships, is your level of contempt. Contempt arises from an overdose of criticism. By being too critical, you may be hurting your partner personally and weakening the bonds of the relationship. Couples who are able to give feedback constructively tend to have a more successful relationship because they aren't weakened by their partner's comments. If you can find out the underlying cause of your critical nature, you will likely be on track to finding the full potential and joy of a committed relationship.
First off, remember — no relationship is perfect. That's why it was important that we got a snapshot of your relationship, reported by you. In this report, Tickle analyzed four key elements that contribute to overall relationship satisfaction: conflict, connection, interaction, and personality. Your answers helped identify strengths and weaknesses that can help you improve your relationships. The next section of the report will show you more explicitly how you scored and where you can improve.
What does your personality add to the relationship?
There are five dimensions of your personality that are crucial to forming and sustaining committed relationships. In order to develop a strong relationship, you need to be mature, understanding, flexible, non-avoidant, and have low relationship anxiety. We'll take a look at how you scored below. You have a combination of individual traits that will serve you well in attaining a healthy, successful relationship. It is most likely that your relationships, family and friends included, benefit from the blend of personal characteristics that you possess.
Flexibility:
Flexibility is key to the success of any intimate relationship. If you can roll with the changes then you will be able to adapt to the struggles you may endure in your relationship. With greater flexibility, you also have a sense of peace about you, since you're not likely to be fazed by the small things in life.
You scored 9 out of 10 on the Flexibility Scale. This means that you probably have a high level of comfort with the ups and downs of any relationship. This will help your relationship, especially if your partner also has a high level of flexibility and you both can enjoy the flow of your relationship together.
Maturity:
Maturity is a great asset to any relationship. It really says that you are ready to think about another person as much as you think about yourself. It also says that you are responsible for your commitment to another person.
You scored 8 out of 10 on the Maturity Scale. This means that you probably have a high level of commitment to and consideration of your partner. This will help your relationship, especially if your partner also has a high level of maturity and can appreciate your commitment to the relationship.
Non-avoidance
Avoidance is damaging to a relationship. It says that you are detached from your partner and that you probably fear intimacy with another. It may also mean that you enjoy your own company more than you enjoy the company of your partner.
You scored 8 out of 10 on the Non-avoidance Scale. Since you scored relatively high, this means that you probably have a higher level of closeness within your relationship, and that you do not have a fear of intimacy. This may help your relationship, especially if your partner enjoys being intimate and close to you.
Positive Emotionality
Negative emotionality has no positive place in a relationship. Destructive types of behaviors are usually hiding many different areas of fear. It is best to keep yourself from worrying to prevent any difficulties from developing in your relationship, which is why keeping a positive attitude about things can help your relationship
You scored 7 out of 10 on the Positive Emotionality Scale. This means that you probably have a lower level of worry, which can be very healthy for your relationship. This may help your relationship, especially if your partner also has a higher sense of comfort about most things in life. However, it may hurt your relationship to be too carefree, so this is something to make sure that you keep balanced.
Lack of Anxiety
Too much anxiety is not healthy for a relationship. The anxiety is often a hidden fear of being alone. It is best to allow the partnership to breathe and give your partner space to pursue their own goals while supporting them.
You scored 5 out of 10 on the Lack of Anxiety Scale. This means that you probably have a high level of need to be really close and dependent on your partner. This may hurt your relationship, especially if your partner also has a high level of independence and needs to have alone time and doesn't understand why you feel rejected during these times.
10 Things that Ruin Relationships
1. Secrets — You fear the consequences of telling your partner something you are ashamed about, and therefore cut off lines of communication.
2. Egotism — Thinking of yourself before thinking of your partner or the relationship diminishes the importance of your partner.
3. Pettiness — Blowing the little things up into big things when there is probably something else that is going on results in avoidance of the real issue.
4. Power — Always needing to be in control and trying to control your partner does not allow your partner his or her own indepedence.
5. Priorities — Doing everything else in your life before putting effort into the relationship tells your partner that his or her needs don't equal yours.
6. Selfishness — Using the relationship to feel good rather than just trying to be a good person in your relationship.
7. Excuses — Not accepting your responsibility for your mistakes and owning up to them shows a lack of maturity.
8. Liaisons — Maintaining taboo relationships when they might be doing harm to you and your partner undermines your commitment as a couple.
9. Denial — Ignoring the red flags and not discussing them constricts lines of open communication.
10. Withdrawal — Disconnecting for reasons that are not discussed or that you are confused about shuts down any hope of intimacy.
Where's the conflict in your relationship?
Tickle's research has identified 7 key areas, or points of conflict, that most people identify as the cause of their break-ups. They may sound familiar. They are related to sex, money, in-laws, infidelity, other friends, work, and quality time together.
Your answers on the test indicate that 2 of these 7 areas contribute to the conflict in your relationship. While these seven areas seem relatively common, what many people may not realize is that these conflict areas are not always the root of the problem. Oftentimes they are more symptomatic of underlying issues — issues that can undermine even the strongest of relationships. But in order to resolve conflicts in your relationship, you need to clearly define the areas that are causing you, or have the potential to cause, the biggest problems between you and your partner. Once you do that, you can figure out whether you can solve your problems through better communication, by making changes to your behavior, or with problem-solving techniques. By focusing on fixing each and any of these conflict areas, the relationship is better equipped to flourish.
You may find that simply acknowledging any problems may make a positive difference in your relationship. Or, you may find that it will take a lot more work, using communication, behavior modification, and problem solving. The areas that are checked below are contributingg to the conflict in your relationship.
Friends
A couple's friends can oftentimes cause stress on their relationship. These stresses can be caused by different personalities and whether or not you like or get along with your partner's friends. But oftentimes the issue goes a bit deeper. You and your partner might get jealous when the other makes plans with or spends time with friends. And these feelings can affect your relationship in a bad way.
You have indicated that your friends are not a problem in your relationship. That's not the case for everyone — 27% of people who have taken this test feel that their friends are a problem in their relationships. You'll want to make sure that you continue to have a healthy relationship around both your friends with your partner and to make sure that you are both open in discussing if anything does come up around this topic.
Infidelity
Infidelity is a serious problem that has the potential to dissolve ties and weaken or destroy the foundation of a relationship. Typically it isn't just the infidelity that is the issue; it is the trust that is broken and the poor communication between the couple that is the catalyst for the cheating, or that results from the cheating.
You have indicated that infidelity is a problem in your relationship. 30% of people who have taken this test also feel that infidelity is a problem in their relationships. While it is a very difficult problem to get beyond, take the opportunity to explore this topic with your partner. The communication will hopefully start to rebuild trust that is so essential in your partnership.
Money
Financial concerns cause problems for many couples. Typically it isn't just the money that is the issue, it is usually what the money is spent on or the emotional value the money holds to each person, which may be different for you and your partner.
You have indicated that your finances are not a problem in your relationship. Consider yourself lucky — 46% of people who have taken this test feel that money is a problem in their relationships. You'll want to make sure that you continue to have a healthy relationship about money with your partner and to make sure that you are both open in discussing if anything does come up around monetary issues.
Work
Work is a common source of conflict for couples. Typically it isn't just the work that is the issue; it is the allocation of time spent at work and the importance placed on work that can get in the way of your relationship.
You have indicated that your work is not a problem in your relationship. On the flip side, 45% of people who have taken this test feel that work is a problem in their relationships. You'll want to make sure that you continue to have a healthy relationship around work with your partner and to make sure that you are both open in discussing if anything does come up around this topic.
Quality Time
Quality time is a source of conflict for many couples. This is most often because failing to make time together — often due to busy schedules or competing interests and priorities — can leave partners wanting more.
You have indicated that quality time is a problem in your relationship. 54% of people who have taken this test also feel that quality time is a problem in their relationships. There is a good chance that the problems arising from this might trace back to something simple, like you needing to plan a weekly date night with your partner. Or it may be something more involved, like you do not feel emotionally connected with your partner, so your needs are not being met. These underlying issues, or something similar, can be the cause of your difficulties around quality time and should be explored with your partner.
In-laws
In-laws are often a source of conflict for couples regardless of whether or not you and your partner like your in-laws. Stress concerning in-laws more often revolves not around specific personas, but more around the time and responsibility that is demanded of the couple by the in-laws. Jealousy and guilt — feelings that you should be spending more time with your own parents, rather than your in-laws — may develop as well. Understanding that the relationship between you and your partner should ideally take precedence over ties between others is important.
You have indicated that your in-laws are not a problem in your relationship. You're lucky — 42% of people who have taken this test feel that their in-laws are a problem in their relationships. You'll want to make sure that you continue to have a healthy relationship around your in-laws with your partner and to make sure that you are both open in discussing if anything does come up around this topic.
How do you and your partner connect?
One key to a successful, committed relationship is having a high degree of relationship connection. When we speak of the connection in a relationship, we are referring to the extent to which partners feel united by their relationship. We assessed your degree of connectedness by measuring your scores on intimacy, chemistry and feelings towards one another. Tickle's research indicates that these three dimensions in particular play a large role in couples who report a high level of satisfaction with their relationships.
You scored relatively high overall on when it comes to connection. This means that the connection to your partner serves you well in attaining a healthy, successful relationship. Most likely, your relationships — family and friends included- benefit from these positive connections. It is this connection that is the foundation of any relationship. Let's dig a little deeper into the three dimensions that determine connection.
Intimacy
The intimacy you share with your partner is really the emotional closeness that is unique to your partnership. The level of intimacy is different for each couple and it can always be deepened.
You scored 10 out of 10 on the Intimacy Scale. This means that you probably have a high level of emotional closeness in your relationship. Intimacy is essential in any relationship because it is the bond that keeps two people connected. Even during the hard times, your intimacy will keep you connected.
Feelings
The feelings you have for your partner is an essential element in any intimate relationship. Feelings are hard to explain other than to say you know when you feel it and you know when you do not. The good thing to know is that everyone is capable of loving more.
You scored 8 out of 10 on the Feelings Scale. This means that you probably share a high level of love with your partner. Love is essential in any relationship because it is the essence of what is shared between two people. Even during the hard times, love will make things all the more bearable.
Chemistry
The chemistry you share with your partner is essential if you want to keep things exciting and alive. There is a range of chemistry that is shared between partners, and you can always enhance the chemistry.
You scored 8 out of 10 on the Chemistry Scale. This means that you probably have a high level of attraction in your relationship. Attraction is essential in any relationship because it is what keeps the relationship exciting. Even during the routine times, the chemistry will keep things lively.
How do you interact in a relationship?
Chances are you've looked at another couple who look happy and have wondered, "What's their secret?" Turns out there may actually be one. In fact, there may actually be seven secrets — or for our purposes, dimensions — that are important to a successful relationship. They are lack of contempt, mutual support, physical affection, lack of defensiveness, problem solving, acknowledgement and mutual respect. Through research, we've found that these seven dimensions are significant in successful, committed and mutually satisfying relationships, and using your answers, we measured the interaction between you and your partner on those dimensions. It is important to note that when we speak of the interaction in a relationship, we are referring to the extent to which partners are satisfied with the two-way involvement with one another. According to your responses, your interactions in your relationship are serving you well in attaining a healthy, successful relationship. It is most likely that your relationships, family and friends included, benefit from these positive interactions. Now let's break this down a little more and see how you scored on these key dimensions.
Growing Together
The idea of growing together is important in your relationship - it can demonstrate how much you honor and trust your partner's differences. It also allows for growth for each individual without fear of losing the relationship.
You scored 10 out of 10 on the Growing Together Scale. This means that you probably have a high level of satisfaction when it comes to growing along the same path as your partner. Because it is easy to get off track, you'll want to be careful to have common ground with your partner as you are exploring your own aspirations.
Acknowledgement
The way you acknowledge and listen your partner is also significant in any relationship. This basically means you accept your partner as a human being, warts and all. A person can blossom when they are understood.
You scored 10 out of 10 on the Acknowledgement Scale. This means that you probably have a high level of understanding of your partner and you really let your partner know that you acknowledge their goals and aspirations. Because getting too little acknowledgement can easily be a problem in any relationship, you will always want to let your partner know that you appreciate what they do for you and that you understand where they are coming from.
Mutual Respect
Shared mutual respect is critical to a successful relationship. It is important to honor your partner for who they are and what they've accomplished. If you have a lot of respect for your partner, they most likely will have respect for you. If they do not, then you really need to explore the reason for this further.
You scored 10 out of 10 on the Mutual Respect Scale. This means that you probably have a high level of satisfaction for the respect you and your partner share. Because you can lose respect over time, you'll want to make sure you honor your partner's differences and show them that you are proud of what they accomplish.
Problem Solving
Problem solving skills are essential for maintaining a healthy relationship. It is not how often you argue but how you argue that is the key to success. If your arguments can be turned into problem solving sessions, your relationship will have one less stressor. If you practice solving the small problems in this way, you will be able to handle the big ones when they come up with a lot more ease.
You scored 9 out of 10 on the Problem Solving Scale. This means that you probably have a high level of problem solving skills in your relationship. You are probably able to solve most issues that arise in your relationship in a very healthy way with both you and your partner feeling good about the decision. Because poor problem solving skills can affect most relationships, you'll want to always pay attention to the way you go about solving a problem.
Physical Affection
The demonstration of physical affection - you may know it better as good old-fashioned PDA, or public display of affection - has been proven to be an indication of a loving partnership. Each of us has our own comfort level when it comes to showing affection. Research says that sometimes all we need is to be touched to produce the feelings we have for our partner.
You scored 8 out of 10 on the Physical Affection Scale. This means that you probably have a high level of physical affection that is demonstrated in your relationship. Because it is easy to feel distanced in a relationship, make sure you show your partner physically how much they mean to you.
Lack of Defensiveness
Defensiveness has been proven to be a main cause of the breakdown a romantic partnership. It is best to catch any kind of agitated response or action before it begins to alter the bond of your relationship.
You scored 7 out of 10 on the Lack of Defensiveness Scale. This means that you probably have a noticeable level of defensiveness and that you might find yourself picking at your partner purposely or jumping to a conclusion based on something they said. Because defensiveness can really break the bond of a relationship, make sure you talk about your feelings if you notice that feelings are getting bruised over the course of your interactions.
Lack of Contempt
The feeling of contempt can really sabotage a relationship. This feeling goes past wanting to give your partner constructive criticism, it really says that you do not like your partner for who they are. It really attacks your partner's personally rather than focusing on their behavior. For example, if your partner listens to the TV at an extra high volume you may want to ask them to please turn it down because you are unable to read in the other room. This is a healthier approach than accusing them for being selfish because they have the TV too loud, for this is a personal attack on their character.
You scored 7 out of 10 on the Lack of Contempt Scale. This means that you probably have a low level of contempt for your partner and that you are able to give them feedback without making them feel like they aren't a good person. Because contempt can easily sneak into a relationship, you'll want to be careful not to personalize any problems that arise in your relationship or engage in any unhealthy blaming thoughts that may pop into your head.
Sealed with
******
Ellis, Lisa, Lis01 December 1983
Sagittarius
Family/Mano/Snb
**Duennatelier***Elvy*
**Elvy**
*Eqa*
**Eqa**
**Eqlis Temptations**
*Ina*
*Ira*
*Irin*
**Irin**
*Julie*
**Julie**
*Linda*
*Mas*
*Nani*
**Nani**
*Nissa*
**Nur**
*Radz*
**Radz**
*Ratu Weddings*
**Ratu Weddings**
*Save or Splurge*
*Shiela*
*Suling*
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