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I might just..
No one knows how its killing me inside..
When the time comes, probably there wouldn't be much left..
Though I hope it doesn't happen..
Life's a bitch! Probably I should ask for death sooner than later..
When death comes, in shaa allah I'll be ready to leave and I'm sorry for all that had happen in the past, now or in future..
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My schedule are going haywire with photoshoots and appointments till end month.
I can! We can do it! In shaa allah amin..
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Life was never meant to be easy, isn't it?
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When asked no response...
Are we done with or are we not...
Till now I have no idea...
Somehow there are others who thinks im 'faking' my busy schedule and not trying to get involved as much..
Here I am trying my best to make ends meet... but this is what I got from people whom I believe would understand my situation other than my family.
Believe it or not, I don't even get to meet my family often nowadays.
Sad truth isn't it?
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Sometimes it's better to leave than to stay. Sometimes it's better to keep quiet than to ask.
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You know that feeling when good intentions were taken in as bad intentions to start a quarrel. All I had did was to make them realise that enough is enough and hoping it will not go on in future. I was even accuse of trying to be a fire starter when there's nothing I should be concerned of. Why let them push you around when you can put a stop to it? Why give in to demands when you can simply say No gently? Haven't you heard of the saying 'once you start, they will never stop'? Was I wrong to be caring and concerned of my loved ones?
And I thought that when I keep quarrelling about that same thing every now and then, it will affect you and made you stop doing what you did but I was totally wrong. Instead of that, I was accuse of finding fault with you and that you've hurt enough.
It's sad to know when my caring actions was misunderstood and I was told to be more supportive. I do wonder if I had not been supportive enough eversince.
Nevertheless, life has to go on and I've taken it all in that I should stop poking my nose into things just so that I won't feel hurt. I wished you knew of my good intentions. Its all business and never personal.
If only you knew.. things would have been different..
Be happy..
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Aku redha dan pasrah..
Ya Allah kuatkan lah hamba mu ini untuk meneruskan kehidupan nye yang penuh dugaan. Berikanlah aku semangat untuk terus hidup dan kuat mengharungi segala apa yang telah ditulis olehMu. Amin.
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Received great news from the sister last night! Lv had given birth to a cute baby boy whom I think look just like her. Hee. Alhamdulilah the delivery went well and that both baby and mummy is safe. Thank you Allah for bringing joy to my family again.
Hearing the good news made me kinda of sad too coz I would have been in my 2nd trimester now 4months to be exact. No one else knew about this except for family. Foetus was not growing well in me and had no heartbeat which gestational age should be at 11weeks last 14May but the scan shows foetus was only 8weeks. Thus, we decided to have a D&C. It was sad for us both as we had wanted another baby ever since Elhan Mateen was a year old.
Nevertheless, I take it as it was never meant to be and that Allah had better plans for me. Maybe He knows that Elhan Mateen is not ready for another sibling and to share his paremts with. Though I hope to have another good news soon. In shaa Allah.
For now, my cute lil nephew will be my joy and laughter other than my own, Elhan Mateen whom will always be my first love other that the husband. Hee.
Congratulations to your new bundle of joy, Lv and Sadiq! Enjoy the new journey as mum and dad. Love you three! Muackz!!
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Ellis, Lisa, Lis01 December 1983
Sagittarius
Family/Mano/Snb
**Duennatelier***Elvy*
**Elvy**
*Eqa*
**Eqa**
**Eqlis Temptations**
*Ina*
*Ira*
*Irin*
**Irin**
*Julie*
**Julie**
*Linda*
*Mas*
*Nani*
**Nani**
*Nissa*
**Nur**
*Radz*
**Radz**
*Ratu Weddings*
**Ratu Weddings**
*Save or Splurge*
*Shiela*
*Suling*
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