Mentally and physically tired that is. Being a mother of 2; a toddler and an infant, handling the business appointments, doing bridal alterations, doing flower arrangements, bridal laundry, personal laundry etc has made me crazy sometimes. Though Elham Mateen is now in childcare and will only fetch him at 5pm or so. I have another baby girl to take care of, Ellyqa Misha. She is now 10 months old. Just like her elder brother, she is fully breastfed thus never allowing me to leave out of her sight. She is definitely more clingy that the brother. At times after putting her down for a nap, I couldn't leave her and if I could 1hr will be a big fat bonus for me after which it's the same routine all over again. Haha. Well I guess since I wanted to have 4 children, this routine will be with me probably for another 5-6 years. Nevertheless, Alhamdulillah for I am able to complete my work most times. I have to or the big boss will kick my big ass and give me a long speech. Deep down I wish we have a helper to help with the housework while I concentrate on other things but guess we are still not ready for it. And probably when Ellyqa Misha is ready for playgroup, I would be able to do more things than now. For the record, I called myself WAHM then SAHM. Coz the latter is just not right for I believe I'm doing more than that. Speaking of which I'm back to my El Marino. Hehe. I have stopped taking it eversince I got to know I was pregnant and wanted to continue after giving birth but keep putting it off coz Ellyqa Misha was still too young and am afraid there might be side effects on her. It's a month now and Alhamdulillah Ellyqa Misha is all good so I shall continue. Thanks to it too, the skin is much better. Even the hair after using Rapunzel, I see results. It's growing well though it's sick to see u r hair sticking out and up in front. Haha. Wish I could continue but baby's calling me. Till then.. and don't know when.. haha
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Sunday, July 6, 2014

@ 1:11 AM

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Friday, July 4, 2014

@ 12:03 AM

One day..
I might just..

No one knows how its killing me inside..

When the time comes, probably there wouldn't be much left..

Though I hope it doesn't happen..

Life's a bitch! Probably I should ask for death sooner than later..

When death comes, in shaa allah I'll be ready to leave and I'm sorry for all that had happen in the past, now or in future..

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Wednesday, June 18, 2014

@ 3:29 AM

Trying to clear as much things on hand as I can by end June before Ramadhan starts.

My schedule are going haywire with photoshoots and appointments till end month.

I can! We can do it! In shaa allah amin..

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Tuesday, June 3, 2014

@ 2:46 AM

Sometimes I feel like giving up...

Life was never meant to be easy, isn't it?

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Thursday, May 29, 2014

@ 12:35 AM

Why make things complicated...

When asked no response...

Are we done with or are we not...

Till now I have no idea...

Somehow there are others who thinks im 'faking' my busy schedule and not trying to get involved as much..

Here I am trying my best to make ends meet... but this is what I got from people whom I believe would understand my situation other than my family.

Believe it or not, I don't even get to meet my family often nowadays.

Sad truth isn't it?

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Sunday, January 5, 2014

@ 11:31 PM

Sometimes it's better to leave than to stay. Sometimes it's better to keep quiet than to ask.

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Friday, July 12, 2013

@ 6:05 AM

You know that feeling when good intentions were taken in as bad intentions to start a  quarrel. All I had did was to make them realise that enough is enough and hoping it will not go on in future. I was even accuse of trying to be a fire starter when there's nothing I should be concerned of. Why let them push you around when you can put a stop to it? Why give in to demands when you can simply say No gently? Haven't you heard of the saying 'once you start, they will never stop'? Was I wrong to be caring and concerned of my loved ones?

And I thought that when I keep quarrelling about that same thing every now and then, it will affect you and made you stop doing what you did but I was totally wrong. Instead of that, I was accuse of finding fault with you and that you've hurt enough.

It's sad to know when my caring actions was misunderstood and I was told to be more supportive. I do wonder if I had not been supportive enough eversince.

Nevertheless, life has to go on and I've taken it all in that I should stop poking my nose into things just so that I won't feel hurt. I wished you knew of my good intentions. Its all business and never personal.

If only you knew.. things would have been different..

Be happy..

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Wednesday, June 19, 2013

@ 7:23 PM

Aku redha dan pasrah..
Ya Allah kuatkan lah hamba mu ini untuk meneruskan kehidupan nye yang penuh dugaan. Berikanlah aku semangat untuk terus hidup dan kuat mengharungi segala apa yang telah ditulis olehMu. Amin.

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Monday, June 10, 2013

@ 2:05 PM

Received great news from the sister last night! Lv had given birth to a cute baby boy whom I think look just like her. Hee. Alhamdulilah the delivery went well and that both baby and mummy is safe. Thank you Allah for bringing joy to my family again.

Hearing the good news made me kinda of sad too coz I would have been in my 2nd trimester now 4months to be exact. No one else knew about this except for family. Foetus was not growing well in me and had no heartbeat which gestational age should be at 11weeks last 14May but the scan shows foetus was only 8weeks. Thus, we decided to have a D&C. It was sad for us both as we had wanted another baby ever since Elhan Mateen was a year old.

Nevertheless, I take it as it was never meant to be and that Allah had better plans for me. Maybe He knows that Elhan Mateen is not ready for another sibling and to share his paremts with. Though I hope to have another good news soon. In shaa Allah.

For now, my cute lil nephew will be my joy and laughter other than my own, Elhan Mateen whom will always be my first love other that the husband. Hee.

Congratulations to your new bundle of joy, Lv and Sadiq! Enjoy the new journey as mum and dad. Love you three! Muackz!!

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Ellis, Lisa, Lis
01 December 1983
Sagittarius
Family/Mano/Snb

**Duennatelier**
*Elvy*
**Elvy**
*Eqa*
**Eqa**
**Eqlis Temptations**
*Ina*
*Ira*
*Irin*
**Irin**
*Julie*
**Julie**
*Linda*
*Mas*
*Nani*
**Nani**
*Nissa*
**Nur**
*Radz*
**Radz**
*Ratu Weddings*
**Ratu Weddings**
*Save or Splurge*
*Shiela*
*Suling*

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